Phantasmism
Saturday, 24 August 2013
Ground Zero
Today i woke up realizing u won't come back anytime soon, maybe even not coming back at all. I realized what i did to you was unforgivable. I thought i could prove to you that i still need you but you wouldn't allow it. You don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I respect that.
I never thought things will go this way. I never thought that you will move on. I never thought that you would stop loving me. I have always believed that we would go somewhere. But then i had to spoil everything. I still can't get over why i treated u like that, not meeting you for like 4 months plus. I thank you for tolerating my nonsense.
I have no idea how long i will take to recover from this state. I will try to shred every feeling in my heart. I must be strong. You know what, it's been great watching you grow, living my life with you for a year plus. Through the ups and downs, i have cherished every moment although i took some of it for granted.
Look where we are at right now, we're completely different persons. We used to see eye to eye. Now we're walking different paths.
I'm putting my feelings to rest now. Hopefully i am able to get over this soon, to get over you that is.
Take Care Nurul Amira. I hope we cross paths again some day.
I never thought things will go this way. I never thought that you will move on. I never thought that you would stop loving me. I have always believed that we would go somewhere. But then i had to spoil everything. I still can't get over why i treated u like that, not meeting you for like 4 months plus. I thank you for tolerating my nonsense.
I have no idea how long i will take to recover from this state. I will try to shred every feeling in my heart. I must be strong. You know what, it's been great watching you grow, living my life with you for a year plus. Through the ups and downs, i have cherished every moment although i took some of it for granted.
Look where we are at right now, we're completely different persons. We used to see eye to eye. Now we're walking different paths.
I'm putting my feelings to rest now. Hopefully i am able to get over this soon, to get over you that is.
Take Care Nurul Amira. I hope we cross paths again some day.
Tuesday, 19 February 2013
16/02/13-17/02/13
the night of avatar.. smoked up at around 5 pm while waiting for the luge people.. met up wth them still stoned around 10+ at bras basah.. met up with ydah, michael & his friend, farah t.,naz and mikail.. took a cab down to marina mandarin hotel where avatar is..
absolut vod, chivas and a jug of beer were the drinks we shared.. i started strong.. not even drank much.. went to the toilet.. and then boom i was stuck there forever.. got myself up around 4 and got out of the club to pass ydah her wallet cos i helped her kept it.. everyone had gone home dat time.. so she came down with her bike..
waited for haziq outside till late 4 then we took a cab to RK.. ordered 2 egg pratas but only ate half of 1.. packed the rest back home.. too wasted to eat.. everything was awful.. puked for like 2 times at the club.. and puked again at home around 6..
was supposed to get ready for work at 9 but i was too wasted so i just made a few texts and calls to tell the luge guys that i had personal problem.. thought everything was gonna be okay..
18/02/13
went to work at 10 and muizz was acting weird.. i was hoping the guys who went to the club with me would help me cover my ass.. i was gravely mistaken.. disappointed.. pissed off.. but not at everyone..
that was the day i knew who my enemies were.. douchebags and pricks and cunts to avoid..
Luge was not as peaceful as i thought it was.. backstabbers and sarcastic piss-offs.. karma will bitch slap u so hard.. well i do not wish to talk about it anymore.. it was partly my fault and i should let the past rest..
19/02/13
ziyad mc.. left our plans hanging hahaha but eventually we met up at bugis after me ending work at 8.. he was with marxie his girlfriend.. smoke up at NTU a fat one and we chilled.. maltesers and redbull.. good bro session going.. stupid mindfucks.. morpheus musa.. smoothhvvvv.. lol..
went to macds afterwards.. left for home at 12+midnight.. took 80 to hougang inter then walked home.. my legs hurt now.. semi-stoned.. fully fried.. gonna check out impericon and i'm off to bed!
keep your friends close, but your enemies closer
the night of avatar.. smoked up at around 5 pm while waiting for the luge people.. met up wth them still stoned around 10+ at bras basah.. met up with ydah, michael & his friend, farah t.,naz and mikail.. took a cab down to marina mandarin hotel where avatar is..
absolut vod, chivas and a jug of beer were the drinks we shared.. i started strong.. not even drank much.. went to the toilet.. and then boom i was stuck there forever.. got myself up around 4 and got out of the club to pass ydah her wallet cos i helped her kept it.. everyone had gone home dat time.. so she came down with her bike..
waited for haziq outside till late 4 then we took a cab to RK.. ordered 2 egg pratas but only ate half of 1.. packed the rest back home.. too wasted to eat.. everything was awful.. puked for like 2 times at the club.. and puked again at home around 6..
was supposed to get ready for work at 9 but i was too wasted so i just made a few texts and calls to tell the luge guys that i had personal problem.. thought everything was gonna be okay..
18/02/13
went to work at 10 and muizz was acting weird.. i was hoping the guys who went to the club with me would help me cover my ass.. i was gravely mistaken.. disappointed.. pissed off.. but not at everyone..
that was the day i knew who my enemies were.. douchebags and pricks and cunts to avoid..
Luge was not as peaceful as i thought it was.. backstabbers and sarcastic piss-offs.. karma will bitch slap u so hard.. well i do not wish to talk about it anymore.. it was partly my fault and i should let the past rest..
19/02/13
ziyad mc.. left our plans hanging hahaha but eventually we met up at bugis after me ending work at 8.. he was with marxie his girlfriend.. smoke up at NTU a fat one and we chilled.. maltesers and redbull.. good bro session going.. stupid mindfucks.. morpheus musa.. smoothhvvvv.. lol..
went to macds afterwards.. left for home at 12+midnight.. took 80 to hougang inter then walked home.. my legs hurt now.. semi-stoned.. fully fried.. gonna check out impericon and i'm off to bed!
keep your friends close, but your enemies closer
Tuesday, 8 January 2013
8/1/2013 Tuesday..
woke up at 745 but was supposed to wake up at 630 cos planned to meet gf at 8.. in the end we met up at 930+ at her place in marymount.. the plan was to help carry some stuff to her new home in redhill cos she's staying over with her mum with her siblings as well.. they had to shift again due to some problems back home..
it was a really hot day and i had to carry a heavy bag, not that im whining much.. i just cant take hot weather.. reached redhill around 11 and chilled for awhile, ate maggi and stuff.. then gf left for wdlands to fetch tiara.. i stayed alone at redhill..played xbox and got bored so i lied down and listened to music but couldnt fall asleep.. sucks..
finally left the place at 5ish and took bus 132 all the way to hougang.. my ass was frying as i was seated for like more than an hour at the same spot.. reached hougang at 636 dialled up naz and met him at punggol to chill at 174(i think) and ended up playing football for awhile till 955.. and ain sugar was there too.. after football slacked with naz, dale, fahmi, ain for awhile and left around 1120..
took bus 62 then dropped at punggol pri and took 325.. wanted to get home and shower and meet up with faris but ended up cancelling cos i had a change of heart.. ate nasi minyak with curry lamb while watching naruto huhuhu..
gonna hit the sack soon.. chao
woke up at 745 but was supposed to wake up at 630 cos planned to meet gf at 8.. in the end we met up at 930+ at her place in marymount.. the plan was to help carry some stuff to her new home in redhill cos she's staying over with her mum with her siblings as well.. they had to shift again due to some problems back home..
it was a really hot day and i had to carry a heavy bag, not that im whining much.. i just cant take hot weather.. reached redhill around 11 and chilled for awhile, ate maggi and stuff.. then gf left for wdlands to fetch tiara.. i stayed alone at redhill..played xbox and got bored so i lied down and listened to music but couldnt fall asleep.. sucks..
finally left the place at 5ish and took bus 132 all the way to hougang.. my ass was frying as i was seated for like more than an hour at the same spot.. reached hougang at 636 dialled up naz and met him at punggol to chill at 174(i think) and ended up playing football for awhile till 955.. and ain sugar was there too.. after football slacked with naz, dale, fahmi, ain for awhile and left around 1120..
took bus 62 then dropped at punggol pri and took 325.. wanted to get home and shower and meet up with faris but ended up cancelling cos i had a change of heart.. ate nasi minyak with curry lamb while watching naruto huhuhu..
gonna hit the sack soon.. chao
Sunday, 6 January 2013
well its been quite a while since i updated so here goes.. first of all, i went nowhere on new year's eve just like last year.. what a bummer..
6/1/2013 Sunday..
went out for dinner with the family at fish and co with troy as well.. had a pretty good meal there.. i ordered white fish and salmon served with coleslaw and chips.. afterwards went home around 7+ and went to zilan to meet the dudes.. unknowingly, it was an impromptu meeting for faris and his classmates.. but it didnt really bother me that much cos i didnt really feel left out haha..
hafiz, faris, shafik, firdaus, taufiq, naqiah and his fiance(soon to be) was there.. they got some food and drinks and 'catch up' on stuff.. naqiah and his guy was gonna get engaged on 2 feb.. best wishes to them of course.. hasan came awhile and then left cos he was with his gf and they were going to macds.. took a few pictures then naqiah and his guy left around 10..
hafiz brought his car along so we decided to go changi to chill.. but not before going back to my place to get my cigar and helmet so taufiq could send me home later.. wasnt planning on drinking but they were really pestering so i had no choice.. jagermeister was on the menu.. we sat by the beach and drank and talked.. we couldnt really slack for too long as hafiz has to return the car by 12+..
send firdaus back home first then taufiq sent me home with his bike.. reaching home around 1+..
i dont know what to do in this r/s anymore.. i feel enraged yet disappointed at the same time..
6/1/2013 Sunday..
went out for dinner with the family at fish and co with troy as well.. had a pretty good meal there.. i ordered white fish and salmon served with coleslaw and chips.. afterwards went home around 7+ and went to zilan to meet the dudes.. unknowingly, it was an impromptu meeting for faris and his classmates.. but it didnt really bother me that much cos i didnt really feel left out haha..
hafiz, faris, shafik, firdaus, taufiq, naqiah and his fiance(soon to be) was there.. they got some food and drinks and 'catch up' on stuff.. naqiah and his guy was gonna get engaged on 2 feb.. best wishes to them of course.. hasan came awhile and then left cos he was with his gf and they were going to macds.. took a few pictures then naqiah and his guy left around 10..
hafiz brought his car along so we decided to go changi to chill.. but not before going back to my place to get my cigar and helmet so taufiq could send me home later.. wasnt planning on drinking but they were really pestering so i had no choice.. jagermeister was on the menu.. we sat by the beach and drank and talked.. we couldnt really slack for too long as hafiz has to return the car by 12+..
send firdaus back home first then taufiq sent me home with his bike.. reaching home around 1+..
i dont know what to do in this r/s anymore.. i feel enraged yet disappointed at the same time..
Thursday, 20 December 2012
19/12/2012 Wednesday,
headed to punggol around 7+ to meet up with nazree.. first we send stuff to scape.. then went back to punggol.. and went to yishun to meet up with his friend..while along lentor.. the unimaginable happened..
i just dont understand it... i was so careful.. still it happened..nazree was on the ground screaming in pain.. cos he landed on his ass.. it's all my fault.. the first vehicle i hit was a chinese lady's car.. the second car, SFU6208Y, an indian guy's, wanted to claim.. the lady was very kind plus a bike rider came along to help me block the road so i could push my bike.. luckily i was able to start my bike.. the worst day of my miserable life.. my foot rest broke.. so i had to ride with my right leg suspended..
it was 10+ already so we met nazree's friend then went to khoo teck phuat cos nazree had to take mc.. we were there from 11pm to 4am+ the next day and he got really pissed off.. while we were leaving it started to rain.. regardless, we just rode back to punggol and chilled for abit before i left for home..
couldnt really get any rest.. then the guy called around 11am+ and wanted to claim insurance.. so i agreed.. i just wanted this to end.. met him at sin ming but i couldnt claim through my insurance at idac so i had to go amk industrial park 2a.. he got really annoying but fuck it.. it's over for now..
im banning myself from riding bike for awhile..i dont know for how long but definitely not riding again too soon..
headed to punggol around 7+ to meet up with nazree.. first we send stuff to scape.. then went back to punggol.. and went to yishun to meet up with his friend..while along lentor.. the unimaginable happened..
i just dont understand it... i was so careful.. still it happened..nazree was on the ground screaming in pain.. cos he landed on his ass.. it's all my fault.. the first vehicle i hit was a chinese lady's car.. the second car, SFU6208Y, an indian guy's, wanted to claim.. the lady was very kind plus a bike rider came along to help me block the road so i could push my bike.. luckily i was able to start my bike.. the worst day of my miserable life.. my foot rest broke.. so i had to ride with my right leg suspended..
it was 10+ already so we met nazree's friend then went to khoo teck phuat cos nazree had to take mc.. we were there from 11pm to 4am+ the next day and he got really pissed off.. while we were leaving it started to rain.. regardless, we just rode back to punggol and chilled for abit before i left for home..
couldnt really get any rest.. then the guy called around 11am+ and wanted to claim insurance.. so i agreed.. i just wanted this to end.. met him at sin ming but i couldnt claim through my insurance at idac so i had to go amk industrial park 2a.. he got really annoying but fuck it.. it's over for now..
im banning myself from riding bike for awhile..i dont know for how long but definitely not riding again too soon..
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Tuesday 11/12/2012
so nurul decided to treat the family at Mad Jack's because her pay got in and im kinda proud of her. we left home around 8 to fetch mum from work and reached there around 9.. ordered food and i got black pepper chicken thingy which was okay.. reached home 10+ and i chilled awhile at home and later left for amk 'fir's' house..
nurul offered me $10 which i refused at first.. but she insisted so i took it.. it kinda made me feel disappointed in myself cos i never really got her anything or gave her money when i had a job.. what kind of brother am i.. it's so depressing..
reached fir's place and the guys were playing 'taiti', musa and faris. they then left for johor to get food and ciggs.. so i let firdaus try my stuff but it was disappointing as fcuk.. 2 joints and the feeling wasnt really there.. one more joint i shared with faris and it still didnt work.. unreliable stuff is unreliable.. sucked ass hard..
firdaus and me left to get the guys some prata near ahmad john's house around 7+.. we finally left the place at 11+.. we were supposed to accompany firdaus to his yishun flat cos he wanted to shift some stuff there.. but he decided to cab there..
to me.. it sucks to have bros whispering among you.. cos i mean we're bros.. we should share stuff.. and if you dont wanna share.. i mean its okay.. but dont whisper u know.. but what the heck.. that's my opinion..
chao
so nurul decided to treat the family at Mad Jack's because her pay got in and im kinda proud of her. we left home around 8 to fetch mum from work and reached there around 9.. ordered food and i got black pepper chicken thingy which was okay.. reached home 10+ and i chilled awhile at home and later left for amk 'fir's' house..
nurul offered me $10 which i refused at first.. but she insisted so i took it.. it kinda made me feel disappointed in myself cos i never really got her anything or gave her money when i had a job.. what kind of brother am i.. it's so depressing..
reached fir's place and the guys were playing 'taiti', musa and faris. they then left for johor to get food and ciggs.. so i let firdaus try my stuff but it was disappointing as fcuk.. 2 joints and the feeling wasnt really there.. one more joint i shared with faris and it still didnt work.. unreliable stuff is unreliable.. sucked ass hard..
firdaus and me left to get the guys some prata near ahmad john's house around 7+.. we finally left the place at 11+.. we were supposed to accompany firdaus to his yishun flat cos he wanted to shift some stuff there.. but he decided to cab there..
to me.. it sucks to have bros whispering among you.. cos i mean we're bros.. we should share stuff.. and if you dont wanna share.. i mean its okay.. but dont whisper u know.. but what the heck.. that's my opinion..
chao
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